Solitary Confinement

I've been training since March and having nightmares since April. I know I can do it physically. In fact, I have already done a 4 mile semi open water swim at Barton Springs. I felt fine during, but I didn't eat soon enough and felt horrible afterward. My stomach couldn't handle what my mind wanted to eat. Bad move and I won't do it again. I need to eat and drink during the training next time. I am worried about how to eat during the race. I know there is a mythical “food boat” at mile 2 but many people seem to miss it completely so I need a back up plan. I'm thinking Jelly Belly “sport” beans tucked into my wetsuit might be a good idea. Yes, Jelly Belly makes sport beans. I talked to a nutritionist yesterday and she said I need to eat more in general. Damn it is nice to have someone official tell you to eat peanut butter!
Mentally, I'm not sure what will happen. I need to remember it takes me like 500 yards to warm up and I feel like crap the whole time. I need to be mentally prepared for the fact that I will want to give up. I'm sure everyone wants to give up several times during this race. I need to train my mind to stay completely focused on nothing. I feel best in longer swims when my mind just kind of buzzes in rhythm with my strokes. I also want to try to remember several good songs that I can sing to myself to keep me from going nuts. I am worried about the currents. I think I just need to realize that it is going to be hard to stay between the bridges but if I'm aware of my surroundings, I can do it. Two and a half hours with only my own thoughts...... that sounds bad. That is a punishment for prisoners and really, a punishment for people who are already being rather harshly punished has to be bad. I will either finish wanting to talk to everyone in sight, or proclaiming I am dropping out of grad school and trying to become a country music star even though I can't carry a tune in a bucket or wanting to hide in a corner in the fetal position. From reading others stories, I do know that I will finish by puking up gallons of sea water. I also need to know it is going to hurt. Every story I read of people's Ironman experiences talks about how much it hurt during the race and they finished by accepting the fact that it hurt, it was going to continue hurting and to finish you had to get through it to the finish. This ain't no Ironman, but I expect it will hurt.