NJ Tri

Well its been a week since I've written. I did the NJ tri this weekend. It went. I thought that with all the training I've been doing I would be able to at least hang with my age group, but alas no. I got a PR, but I did really crappy in comparison to everyone else which means it was just a really fast course. Its just sort of crushing when you put so much work into something and feel like you get nothing back. I guess it is good that I am not spending today as a ball of pain but I should have been able to do better on this tri. I should have been able to push harder but I didn't. The run broke me. It always does. I hate that it has now become about times instead of finishing, but it has. I had fun. I liked being with a club, but I still feel like crap mentally. I guess I have just gotten as fast as I can and in yet another endeavour I will have to settle for being crappy. Everything just seems to suck right now. I feel like even my ironman is a useless goal. What's the point, it doesn't prove anything. Its not Hawaii which is the only one the world seems to think is worth it and really Ironman has become what marathons are, the new thing to do. It seems that, like the marathon, in 5 years everyone will have done one and no one will care anymore. what's the point? I can't quite now though because I have already paid my $500 and I'm cheap so I have to at least show up and not waste the money. And if I show up I might as well be prepared to finish. I would hate wasting $500. At least this blog isn't just about the good times in my training.....