Alohomora

I'm in Pittsburgh for work and because I drove up I was lucky enough to be able to bring the Firebolt and my trainer. I love it when I am able to watch a Harry Potter movie while on the trainer because there is something so cool about getting to be on the Firebolt while watching Harry on his. Why do they even bother to lock doors at Hogwarts? It seems they taught everyone the spell to unlock a door in their first year so why go through the trouble of the lock? Yes I know that there are charms and such that can prevent the use of the standard unlocking spell, but really, how on earth is there a market for the good old fashion dead bolt in the wizarding world? Yet every door is fully equipped with the useless piece of hardware. So silly!

In other news I did NOT watch the season finale of Doctor Who so I could work out. I could have watched it while on my trainer but that is like doing two things at once and I want to be able to fully pay attention to Doctor Who. I actually chose working out over the Doctor, now that's commitment!

Harbo and Samuelsen

In trying to post more, I am going to post today too! I didn't actually do my trainer workout last night because I got to screwing around on the internet and time flew by and then it was just too late. It will all get done though. After my mental freak out yesterday I had two people say things to me that made me feel better. First, Ned said that when he can't concentrate on his dissertation, which is due in a few weeks, he thinks of how hard I worked on mine and the will it took to get it done ( I didn't sleep for 40 hours at one point). Seeing how hard I can push myself helps him push himself. Then my friend Rob said that thinking about how hard I train made him run an extra mile on his daily run. These both made me happy because it means I am helping other people work towards their goals and push themselves harder. I like that. Everyone is so much stronger than they think they just need to find that little voice that says "hell no you are not giving up now! run up that damn hill!" When I'm feeling like I want to give up I start singing the Ballad of Harbo and Samuelsen. They rowed across the Atlantic ocean in 55 days and 13 hours. A record that still stands. How can I give up after a 90 min. run when they rowed 21 hours a day for 55 days after being capsized and half starved to death? Oh and then on the way back, the boat they were on, powered by steam, ran out of fuel and rather than have their precious boat, the Fox, burned they got off the steamer, back in the Fox and rowed home! What on earth do I have to complain about compare to that!

So far I've done a 3,000 yard swim today. It felt ok, but I get pushed so much harder with the DCTri club swims that I feel like such a slacker without them. Tonight I will actually do a workout on the trainer. Oh I remember the days when a three mile run was a workout. Now it seems to be a warm up.

The Chinese Food Incident

Again, I'm going to start blogging more. Since moving to DC without Ned, I feel like I've had a lot to say and no one to say it to. Training for Ironman Arizona is in full swing. I'm in week six and I'm holding up about like I thought I would. I'm at a mental low right now. I hurt a lot and I am tired a lot, but I keep getting better and my body isn't breaking down so I consider that a success. It was hard to start again because I keep remembering what I used to be able to do and it is hard to have to start behind that. But every week I get stronger. I went for a run today and did pretty well for me. It hurt at the end but I kept thinking that everyone hurts at points like that and that it is the ones that keep going through the hurt that are called ironmen. What I didn't realize was how little I had eaten today. I kept getting cramps and at the very end I had to stop for a second and I almost passed out. I manged to finish the run with a "run" up the big hill at the end.

As soon as I got home I ate, but I just haven't been able to eat recently. Nothing looks tasty and I see everything as "unhealthy." I have to get over that if I want to finish this thing. When I get cravings for food I have to let myself give in because I'm just excited I want to eat. Last night I wanted Chinese food like nothing else. I ordered on line and finally after an hour of not getting my food I called and they said they never got my order. Now not only was I really really hungry, I wasn't going to get my food. Well, low blood sugar makes me do stupid stuff and I kicked the refridgerator really hard. My foot is ok but I must be getting really strong because there is now a dent in the fridge. A lot of the reason I don't want to eat is because I have been losing so much weight and I love it. Something switches in my head and I don't want to put anything "unhealthy" in my body and then everything becomes "unhealthy" and there is nothing I will let myself eat. That's why the Chinese food incident made me so upset, I had finally found something I wanted to eat and I had decided to give in. Tonight I finally got Chinese food but my blood sugar is so low I feel rather nauseated and can't seem to choke it down.
I have also been having some mental doubts. I never feel that anything I do is good enough. I try to pick the hardest things I can think of and then I realize that it is actually nothing special. Then I think of what would be special and it is always one step further. Like now I think that only Hawaii counts and that Arizona is not a "real" ironman. I just wish I could be "done" and "good enough" but I guess I will never get there.....

Well, back to trying to eat what I wanted to eat yesterday and can't seem to eat today. Oh, that and the bike trainer, I have one more workout today!

The Beginning

I am a physics grad student at the University of Texas at Austin. I swam at Bryn Mawr College as an undergrad and was middle to back of the pack. When I was 12 one of my friends did the Great Chesapeake Bay Swim and I thought that was so cool. When I decided to make a list of the things I would like to do in life, the first three on there were run a marathon, ride a bull and swim the Chesapeake Bay. From college up until a year ago I turned into a complete couch potato. I would play Ultimate Frisbee in the summer and took Kung Fu lessons, but other than that, nothing. My friend Cindy, who I pretty much credit with overhauling my life, convinced me to do the Danskin triathlon. This was three weeks before the event and she drastically overestimated my fitness level. Well for three weeks I worked my body harder than I thought possible, often to the point of complete collapse and finished the triathlon in a reasonable time. It was an amazing experience. I got hooked and throughout the summer trained and did the Dilloman Triathlon in September and knocked about 15 min. off my time. I was then convinced to do the swim leg of the IronStar triathlon. The swim was 1.2 miles and it sounded fun. I did well and our team, Splash Grind Mosey, got third, mostly due to the amazing biking a running, but still, I helped. I was mentally rougher than I would like to admit. I'm not afraid of open water, but damn, you have a lot of time alone in your own mind when you swim for that long. I thought of giving up, not because I couldn't do it physically, but because I didn't know if I could do it mentally. There is almost no noise when you are swimming and all you can do is think. People go crazy from that! Well after that training I decided this year was the year to conquer The Bay. I signed up for the lottery, sent in my IronStar swim time and I am on the list. Let the training and nerves begin!